Getting Your Ex To Call You After The Break Up
The worst part of breaking up is thinking you might never see or hear from your ex again. This can overwhelm you pretty quickly, putting you into a really bad emotional state where you'll start excessively calling, harassing, or stalking your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. All of these are obviously bad moves.
To get back with an ex, you need to avoid making these mistakes. But at the same time, you eventually need to get him or her to call you. Calling your ex always puts you at a disadvantage, which is why the most desirable scenario is one in which your ex boyfriend or girlfriend dials you - instead of the other way around.
Before you can begin though, you first need to create an environment in which your ex totally misses you. Getting on your ex's mind and putting yourself back into their head should be your top priority, and there's really only one way to do that: drop out of sight totally and completely... for a while, anyway.
Because the more you make yourself available, and the more you're generally around? The less your ex will need to see you. This is perhaps THE most common mistake made after getting dumped; thinking that the less you see of your ex, the harder it will be for you to get them back.
Making Your Ex Miss You So That They'll Need You Back
While trying to win your boyfriend or girlfriend back, you might feel them slipping away. In an effort to hold on, you'll grip them tighter... call them more... try to email your ex, text-message them, and keep in touch as much as possible. You'll think that since you're out of sight, you're rapidly becoming out of mind. But in reality? The exact opposite is true.
To get your ex girlfriend or boyfriend back you need to make them wonder where you are. While you're in plain sight, they will never even miss you. This is because your ex knows what you're doing, and theys till feel safe that you're not going anywhere. But stop calling and contacting your ex? That's when they'll start looking around for you. Disappear completely for a few days or weeks? This is when they'll worry about losing you for good.
Most important of all, this is when your ex will make that first contact phone call.
Ways To Get your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend To Call You
If you're looking for other, more detailed ways of getting your ex to dial your number, there are some really great reversal techniques. Using these can help quickly turn your breakup around, even if it seems your ex has been intentionally staying away from you since the break.
For example, if you were close with your ex's family while you were dating, you can call when they're not home and leave a message asking about a family member. Maybe your ex had a mother who was ill, a father about to get an operation, or a brother ready to go off to college. Asking about them is both sweet and innocent, and the fact that you left the message while your ex boyfriend or girlfriend was at work pretty much requires that they at least call you back.
Another good idea is the congratulatory phone call. If your ex graduated school, received a promotion, or had a birthday while the two of you were broken up, calling to say congratulations is a good ice breaker. Once again you can do it at a time you know they're not home, so your ex has to call you back.
For some more really slick methods, check out how to make your ex jealous. Jealousy is a great tool for getting your ex to initiate contact with you again, and can it totally jump-start their desire to see or hear from you quickly.
What To Say When Your Ex Finally Calls You
Knowing how to handle the ex boyfriend or girlfriend phone call when it comes is an important part of winning your lover back. You need to stay calm, be cool, and give off a totally confident vibe if you want a successful first phone call.
The following guidelines are pretty helpful when it comes to talking to your ex for the first time after the break up:
- Don't be overly excited to hear from them. Keep calm and cool.
- Take it slow. Don't hurry the conversation; speaking too quickly is a sign of nervousness.
- Try to let your ex do most of the talking. Especially if they were the one who called you.
- Don't reveal too much by telling your ex you miss them, have been thinking about them, etc...
- Don't talk about the break up - that subject should be totally off limits for now.
- Get off the phone quickly - don't stay on longer than 4 or 5 minutes, tops.
By following these general rules, you can keep your ex wanting more. By the time he or she finishes talking to you, they should need to hear more about what you've been up to. Do it right, and your ex will feel the need to call back. This is your goal.
Regaining The Control You Lost When Your Ex Broke Up With You
Understand that by initiating the breakup, your ex must also be the person who initiates contact. Ideally you want your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to call, tell you they miss you, and list all the reasons why they'd like to reverse their decision to split up with you.
This puts you instantly in the driver's seat. By them showing an interest in you, you've been given back power and control. This is important, because you lost that power when your ex broke up with you. You also lost more of it when you chased after your ex, or tried desperately to convince them not to break up with you in the first place.
Going forward, you'll need this control to construct a solid, long-standing relationship. Because although your goal is to get back with your ex, your long-term plan should including developing and keeping a lasting romance the two of you can build upon. Getting back together for another week or two (before fighting and ultimately breaking up again) just doesn't make sense.
Getting your ex to call you isn't necessarily for that one-time phone call. Instead, it becomes the pivot point at which your reconciliation begins. The balance of power shifts in your favor once your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is forced to stop their silence and get back in touch with you. Because they were the one who reached out to you, they're also the one who must concede something.
What To Do If Your Ex is Ignoring Your Calls or Attempts at Contact
Sometimes your ex will continue ignoring you after the breakup. Either the timing isn't right, or you may have made too many of the more critical back with ex mistakes after being separated.
In cases like this, you'll need additional help. You'll need to learn ways of piquing your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend's interest all over again, and fast methods you can use to grab your ex's attention. Reconnecting can be hard; even harder still, knowing what to say once you do start talking and communicating with your ex.
Don't worry too much if your ex won't talk to you, speak to you, or even answer your attempts at trying to get in touch. This is extremely common, and it's always an early part of the breakup.
In trying to get your ex to come back to you, some of the best help comes from author Cucan Pemo.
Bring Back the Love of Your Life is an insanely popular guide to making up that has already helped thousands of couples in situations similar to yours. Pemo's motto is simple: "No situation is hopless".
One of the coolest parts of this instantly-downloadable guide to getting back together is Cucan Pemo's 4-Step Strategy. The best part is that it doesn't matter where you are in your current breakup - or how long it's been since you've had contact with your ex - because the process is designed to identify and begin working from whatever point you're at.
Check out some of the many happy testimonals from men and women who've benefited from Bring Back Lost Love. Their stories are inspiring; especially if you're at the point where you may be feeling helpless or hopeless about ever getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.