Dating Ex Boyfriend Rules and Regulations
So you've worked toward getting your ex back... and now you're going to meet him. What should you do? What do you say? How should you handle the first post-breakup date with your ex boyfriend?
Getting back together with an ex boyfriend is a long, winding road. If you've already been walking it, you probably know the pitfalls of moving too quickly or pushing too hard.
And if you've arrived at the point where you're going to meet your ex for the first time since splitting apart? Congratulations. You've reached a milestone on the road to reversing your breakup.
How you handle the ex boyfriend date is just as important as everything you've done to get to this point. When seeing your ex for the first time, you need to be calm, cool, and collected. You need to look sharp, smell nice, and smile broadly. You should have confidence and charisma, but not act overbearing or needy. In short, you need to walk a pretty fine line.
The First Date After The Break Up
If this is the first time you'll be seeing your exboyfriend again, there are two simple rules: short and casual. Dinner is way too formal and too long, so you'll want to pick a lunch or coffee date. If your ex hasn't already suggested a place, pick a neutral location that's not too far away. You'll want to meet up, catch up, and get out of there while your exboyfriend is still wanting more of you.
So what do you talk about when meeting up with your ex? Well, lots of things... but nothing too heavy. You can talk about work, school, family, friends, and maybe even a little bit about what you've been up to lately. You don't want to give him too much info however, because leaving a little something to your ex boyfriend's imagination is always a good way to maintain his interest. Remember: if he's meeting you for lunch or coffee, he's already interested in you again. Don't fill him in on everything, or there will be no more mystery.
What shouldn't you talk about? LOTS of things... the subject of your breakup being among them. Never, ever discuss the topic of your past relationship on a reunion date with your ex boyfriend. This will inevitably lead to blame, guilt, or defensiveness. It also shows him you're still looking to recapture the past, and although you want your ex boyfriend back this isn't the time to reveal that.
You also shouldn't use this time to pry. As curious as you might be about your ex boyfriend's recent social life, if he suspects you're trying to find out who he's been seeing or hanging out with... all bets are off. You'll come across as desperate and needy, and you're back at square one again.
Getting Your Exboyfriend To Want You Back
During the course of your meeting, you've got two main objectives. The first is to catch up with some friendly small talk, and make your ex as comfortable as possible. You can accomplish this by letting him do most of the talking, and breaking in whenever there's an awkward pause or silence. Laughter can do a lot to break the ice between you, especially if you haven't seen each other since the break up.
Your second goal while on a date with your ex boyfriend is to pique your ex's interest in your own life. Since he dumped you, your ex has probably been wondering what you've been up to. This is where you need to be vague, and not give him all too much information. You should be happy, vibrant, confident, and excited, as this will make him really start thinking that you've found something - or possibly someone - that's made you feel this way.
Remember that the last time he saw you, you were probably in tears over the break up, or even asking for a second chance at the relationship. Now however, you're an entirely different person. Staying in control and in a positive frame of mind will make you very attractive to your ex boyfriend, and this will get him thinking about you again. From there, it's a short step toward missing you and wanting you back in his life.
Be sure to check out these great tips on seizing back some of the power and control you may have lost during the breakup. Play your cards right and they'll have your exboyfriend chasing you again, the way he did the first time you went out with him.
Setting Up a Second Date With Your Ex Boyfriend
If your first date went well, your ex will want to see more of you. This will be especially true if you ended the date early, and told him you had somewhere to go. Where are you going? Nowhere in particular... but your exboyfriend doesn't know that. So make sure you duck out at the end with:
"Sorry I have to run, but I had a great time talking with you. Give me a call next week or something, and maybe we can hook up again?"
By putting things this way, you're giving your ex a mystery to solve. Where is she going? Is she meeting someone? What's so important that she's in a hurry to leave? Those questions will plague your ex boyfriend in the hours and days after your date, and he'll wonder what's up.
More importantly, by telling him to call you next week your ex will get the impression that this week is too busy for you. He'll start wondering exactly what kind of life you've been leading since he broke up with you, and whether or not it involves a new boyfriend.
This is exactly what you want. By making your ex nervous about losing you for good, he has to seriously re-examine whether or not he wants to continue the break up.
Now if you're having trouble getting to the point where your ex boyfriend asks you out again, don't worry. Just as there are many dating ex boyfriend rules and regulations, there are also methods and techniques for turning his attention back upon you. Even if your ex has been ignoring you, there are reconnection techniques you can use to immediately place yourself back in his life again. Learning what these are can make the difference between getting your boyfriend back or losing his interest altogether.
For a lot more information, be sure to read Meeting With Your Ex Boyfriend. Taking things slow and keeping things fun are some of the best ways to ensure a solid foundation for the future of your relationship together.